Hola everyone! This week has by far been the best week of my life! Thank the heavens, I am no longer in the CCM because this is what REAL life is all about! And I absolutely love and adore it!
So, p-day last week (13th March 2017) was honestly a horrible day, and so were the next two or three days, but we'll get to that. ;) I was exhausted from the flight, I didn't get sufficient food because of my anxiety and not wanting to throw up on the plane, and I got thrown into a whole new culture that absolutely threw me for a loop! But my elders were amazing, my travel buddies were amazing, my mission president and wife are amazing, and my companion is amazing. :) I got to take a really long nap, we wrote home where I bawled my eyes out and a little girl just watched me sob awkwardly. My favorite parts of the day were when I was sleeping, because that meant I wasn't there. It wasn't real. And that was so nice.
On Tuesday (14th March 2017) (OH! First three bugbites! But now I have like twenty, so whatevs.) I was allowed to sleep in, which was really nice. I was not feeling it that day. I honestly spent most of my energy yelling at God for doing this to me (later during personal study, I received a lot of revelation from God and realized that I needed to be kinder to Him). I was so frustrated and angry and I couldn't figure out why I was sent here when I was completely useless in the language, much less anything else. I'd forgotten that I am good at things; I was solely focusing on what I couldn't do (DON'T DO THAT!) I was projecting my insecurities on others again, like "I was in the Mexico MTC, I should know more Spanish than this," or "I've been on my mission for nearly two months, what the heck am I even good for if I can't speak after two months?" etc. etc. I literally wrote, "I feel like I should know Spanish. I feel useless and stupid. I don't entirely understand why I'm here or why I decided to serve a mission. Gosh, I don't even entirely know why I'm staying!" Haha, so dramatic.
On Wednesday (15th March 2017) I had a bit of an easier morning. Mornings were the hardest. I would wake up and wonder why the heck I was still here or why I couldn't just stay asleep forever. I literally would wake up and just think, "Ugh. Why am I still here!?" My companion had a meeting this day, so I was in a trio with the other two sisters who live in our house. It was interesting, because Hermana Perez speaks some English while Hermana Sanchez . . . not so much. But I'd gotten used to not talking very much since I got here. Today was an easier day, but when we picked up Hermana Wilson and I saw President Haws, I knew that I needed a blessing if I was even going to try and enjoy my mission. So, he sat me down and we chatted about a lot of things, and then he gave me a beautiful blessing that I cherish so much in my heart! The priesthood is real, and the power of God is SO real. After that amazing blessing, I really enjoyed the rest of my day. Spanish wasn't as daunting, and every time I felt my demons coming back, I'd claim my blessing and chase them away. I took it a moment at a time, not really thinking much into the future because that would just stress me out. I just allowed God to do what He needed to do with me, and I figured that if I'm in His hands, I'm okay. I also accepted the fact that I may never be fluent in Spanish, but if I have enough to accomplish what God needs me to accomplish here, I'll be happy. Needless to say, I'm going to work my butt off, but I'm done expecting so much out of myself that I can't function.
On Thursday (16th March 2017) it was such a good day! Gah! The morning was still tougher for me, but it turned up after our zone class. I understood a lot more Spanish than I did the day before, so woohoo! Accomplishment! When Hermana Sanchez and Perez showed up at the class, my heart was so full of joy. I was so happy to see them, and I'm happy I was happy to see them. Gah, I love them. :) Afterwards, we planned our day and went straight to teaching. We tried (and failed) to count all of the red and white doors we knocked on, as well as all the dogs we saw (there are SO many dogs here). I met some wonderful investigators and members, and I tried icecream here for the first time! Very different but oh-so good! We also tried some pasteries this day, and the food here is so weird to me, but I have yet to have problems or hate it (Eric! Kate! I ate enchiladas! On purpose, too! XD ;) ) hermana Sanchez had tried to teach me Spanish this night, and although it was a little tough, I enjoyed it. But once I was done, I WAS DONE. Haha, but it was a really good day, a good rest. It was difficult at times, but I was gradually getting the hang of it and that's all that mattered. :)
On Friday (17th March 2017) Hermana Perez made me breakfast tacos and I just died. They were SO GOOD! AH! She's like the mom of the house, and I really enjoy and appreciate her. She actually picked up on the fact that I wasn't feeling too great, even before I knew that I wasn't feeling too great! I was just studying my scriptures, she turned to me, and asked the question I hate the most (Kendra, you should know ;) ), "Are you okay?" And I just started to cry! Like, what the heck!? Haha, but I realized that I was allowing myself, even on the smallest degree, to get frustrated with the language again. She hugged me, said so many kind and needed things, and it was SO nice. Then we went to lunch, and as per usual, the family asked me to pray. But they wanted me to pray in English! Of course, being an English speaker, I was like, "Oh, I got this." but then I started my prayer and I couldn't figure out how! I was so used to Spanish! Gah! It was rough! XD But the food was SO good. I ate like two helpings, which was a lot for me by this time. The other sisters were just as surprised as I was! Anyway, my highlight of this day was at the Family Home Evening, where a woman (who I later found out wasn't even a member!) said that she admired me for my obedience and sacrifice (what the lesson was on). She admired that I left and sacrificed my home, my schooling, my friends, my language, my everything, just to be here. And I was amazed that without having to speak, she was taught. Examples are SO real! Gah, I loved it. And I understood more this day than the day before, which is all I'm working towards. :)
On Saturday (18th March 2017) (first and most certainly not the last sunburn) I'd made a goal the night before to have a better morning, and by choosing to have a better morning and to be happy, as well as claiming the blessing I had received, it was such a wonderful morning! :D I actually woke up thinking, "Wow. I just love it here. I just love being here." The power of God and prayer and agency is so real! Anyway, this day was swell. I understood and spoke a lot more Spanish than I did the day before, and during our English Class (which, by the way, is such a blessing! This was something I wanted to do so bad but knew I'd have to wait until after my mission; but God answers prayers! YES!) the girls who came actually taught me Spanish! It was fun, and the stress wasn't there which was so nice. We also taught and contacted people today, and although I can't really speak or share my ideas, the scriptures can, so I've relied heavily on them to express what I currently cannot. I shared a scripture that perfectly fit with one of the people we taught, and my companion just couldn't quit gushing over it, which made me feel good. Also, another milestone for today was that I didn't look at pictures from home or cry or think much about home, which was so nice (as horrible as it is). It was nice just to enjoy and focus on what I was doing. :)
On Sunday (19th March 2017) I played the piano in sacrament, which was so nice. Normally, in America, because we are a super judgemental culture, I'd have a hard time and stress about messing up. But here, they are so accepting and loving, I just felt like I could do anything and they would love me for it. It's so nice here. I've been told that I'm speaking and understanding more and better, and it's nice to hear it from an outside source.
Today! (20th March 2017) I got up, cleaned and organized (that felt SO good). We played volleyball and football, ate sushi (SO GOOD! AH! MY LIFE!) and we're emailing and going to go shopping before having Family Home Evening with a cute family. Anyway, I'll talk to you next week! Love you all and know that God loves you! All is well and will continue to be well! <3
Funny Story Time
- We were walking out of a new member's house, and this chicken just flew into my face! It was so funny and the weirdest thing I have ever felt on my face! "I got a face full of chicken!" Now, when we visit them, we always joke about me needing to stay away from the chickens. ;) Oh! And their little boy is the cutest thing and the devil. I love him. :) He reminds me of someone . . .
- Hermana Sanchez, "You look HOT!" XD
- I had the phone in the bathroom because our light burned out (it's actually been three days and we have yet to change it XD) and then we got a call! I got so scared that I accidentally hung up on whoever was trying to call us! XD
- We were walking in the street, and I said, "Buenos tardes!" to a guy and he said, "Good afternoon!" It took me a minute to realize he spoke my language, and I was like, "Oh! Muy bien!" and he said, "Very good!" It was SO weird! XD
- Hermana Wilson was telling me a story, and then she paused and said, "This is where you would say, 'Enserio!?'" and I was like, "Oh. 'Enserio!?'" "Yeah, there you go. Anyway, so I--" "Enserio!?" XD She was not amused, but I sure was!
- We were walking in the street, and I'm used to people here staring or taking double takes because I am literally the only white person on the face of the earth here. But this guy! Haha! The way he looked at me, so surprised and eyes so wide that all I saw was white, made me and Hermana Wilson laugh for days! SO FUNNY!
- Hermana Haws is the candy lady. Awe, candy . . .
- We had so much cake! Like 5 here! Because it's Hermana Perez's birthday. I wish it was her birthday every day, because the cake here is HEAVEN.
- A drunk man came up and talked to me, and I just told him that I was sorry and didn't understand what he was saying, and then Hermana Wilson grabbed me by the arm and dragged me away. As it turns out, she had the same experience on the same day and time in her mission, and she cried. She told me that I was a tough cookie. All I could think was, "Well, I'd fight him if I had to." XD
- I got the cactus that I talked about for years! His name is Fred, and if anyone tries to break into our house, I'll stab them with him.
- I saw a crocodile! Don't worry, I didn't wrangle it, sit on it, and hold it's mouth shut like in Florida, parents. ;) We didn't have enough time. ;)
- Hermana Wilson holds my hand when we cross the street. I have so many 'moms' here (but I only really love and accept mine ;) <3 Love you mom! I'm taken care of really well here!)
- We basically have pets without having pets. There are two dogs by our house that we pet and play with, and there's a cat named Lady Gata who sleeps on our porch and basically lives with us. It's nice, since I don't have my cat to enjoy right now. Heavenly Father truly loves and blesses me.
- I was sitting in a comvi, squished between two men, and to make an umcomfortable situation (oh, I have so many here. On the daily!!!) my mind was like, "Well, this is the closest you're going to get to a hug from a man in a year in a half." XD oh my heck.
*Disclaimer! Sorry if my past or future emails have a lot of typos. My mind is full of two languages, the keyboards here are weird, and quite frankly, I'm not entirely sure I care or that it matters at this point. ;)
P.S. Pictures are going to take a while; it's so slow loading them here, especially with limited time.
P.P.S. Sorry parents! The chat cut out for whatever reason. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you here in 16 months! Much love and kisses and hugs! <3 :) Don't worry about me. I'm super fine, and I love it here! Couldn't imagine any better way to spend a year and a half! :)--
Hermana Huber :)
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